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Effective Leadership Skills: Emotional Discipline at Work

Being an effective leader is becoming more challenging and demanding in these times. Relying upon your title and position alone is no longer enough to get your teams to do their jobs well. Employees want more.

Leading with emotion?

They demand to be treated as individual people in an intelligent, caring and thoughtful environment. In reality, people have always wanted this, but now they are getting it. More managers are learning and practicing good leadership skills. One skill is Emotional Intelligence (EQ), practiced with Emotional Discipline.

Emotional intelligence in the workplace

Essentially, EQ  is the ability of individuals to recognize the emotions of both themselves and other people.

EQ means evaluating and labeling different feelings appropriately, and using emotional information to guide your thinking and behavior. Basically, it’s our “people skills.”

Emotional Intelligence includes:

  • Self-awareness
  • Self-regulation
  • Motivation
  • Empathy
  • Social skills

At Business Consulting of NH we use assessments that measure our level of development in each of the EQ skills. Studies have indicated that emotional intelligence is a higher indicator of success, in many areas, than a person’s IQ.

Emotional Discipline in the workplace

Emotional Discipline is thoughtfully utilizing the information we obtain from our Emotional Intelligence in a productive way to achieve the best possible outcomes. Emotional discipline involves not reacting on the first impulses of our emotions. We respond after due consideration, and never in anger, even if we might feel justified in doing so.

When the rules of emotional discipline aren’t followed, there are consequences for the leader, the team and the organization. The team might lose respect or trust in the leader. A lack of emotional discipline may lead to poor results because a leader took the easy route, rather than calling out unproductive behaviors.

Maybe high standards of quality and service aren’t always kept because it’s easier to overlook poor performance than it is to inspire excellence every day.

How does a leader practice Emotional Discipline?

Here are some discussions an Emotionally Intelligent & Emotionally Disciplined leader might have with their fellow leaders and their teams:

Which areas are our strong points? In which areas of our work do we feel we are exhibiting strong aspects of emotional discipline?

When are we at our best? Do we hit deadlines regardless of the pain we might feel or obstacles we are facing within ourselves or others?

Where do we need some work? In which areas of our work do we need a higher level of emotional discipline? Where do team members need help in being more disciplined?

What do we need to learn? Do we need to hold meaningful conversations to move ourselves and the team forward rather than keeping a distance because it’s more comfortable and familiar?

How do we make choices? Are we making decisions based on our emotional intelligence and discipline at all times, or are we overlooking certain “convenient exceptions”?

How confident are we? Are we exhibiting the courage and discipline to openly speak the truth and call out the “exceptions?”

Who can we benefit? Who can we help motivate and keep on track? Is it hard for staff to get fired up in the morning and do the toughest tasks they need to get done?

A workplace that is infused with the continuous practice of emotional discipline is a workplace that will generate and perpetuate feelings of satisfaction and pride for both the employee and the leader.

Contact Coach Hardy online to learn more about leadership improvement. We provide consultation and training for business leaders who are eager to grow and thrive. Call us today at 603-763-9770.

Finding Happiness and Fulfillment at Work

We all want to live happy and fulfilling lives, and we want our loved ones to be happy too. Happiness matters to all of us. We want to be happy and feel good all the time, and we want to go on feeling that way. Since most of us spend the largest part of our time working, we need to focus on finding happiness and fulfillment at work.

There are many things that contribute to finding happiness during our work-hours. Some things are internal and others are external, or related to the job we do and the environment at our work.

So what contributes to happiness in the workplace? What detracts from that happiness? We’ll start with what matters to us at work:

1. Are you in the right job?

Are you doing tasks that are enjoyable to you? Do you find satisfaction in what you do? We all need jobs that fit our personalities, and mesh with what drives us to excel. Many of us enter the workforce having no clue about what we want to do or what might fulfill us.

We ask our parents, friends, professors, and they tell us what we “should” do. Parents are typically clear about what they want for us, but is that what we really want? Does it suit us, energize us, and bring out the best in us? There are many tools and processes available to help us decide who we are and what’s best for us.

2. Do you find meaning in your work?

Does the work you do add meaning to your life? Do you feel deeply connected to how the job benefits others and society as a whole? Does it fulfill your sense of purpose? The challenge here is that many of us do not know our Life Purpose and don’t know how to find it. For these people, life is like going on a road trip and not knowing where they want to end up.

3. Relationships with your boss and co-workers

How can a boss contribute to your happiness? By being positive and friendly.

  • Does your boss approach you with a positive attitude?
  • Are they clear with their instructions, advice and guidance?
  • Do they give you frequent feedback on how you’re doing?
  • Do they give you the right tools to do your job well?
  • Do they listen to you in a way that shows they really hear you and are interested in what you are saying?
  • Do they care about you not only as a worker, but as a person?
  • Do they act and speak in a trustworthy way, and follow through with what they say they will do?
  • Do they take care of your problems quickly?

How do your co-workers contribute to your happiness? By being there as our friends.

  • Are they interested in you as a person?
  • Do they want to help you and support you?
  • Are they open to your needs, and willing to listen to you?
  • Are they willing to grow with you, celebrate your wins, and console you when you’re down?

4. Find balance between work and personal life

In this ever racing world of ours, finding  an opportunity to reflect on whether our life is really bringing us joy and happiness can be a challenge. Work tends to occupy more and more of our attention, far beyond just the hours we spend at the workplace. Many of us never put down our electronic devices for an extended period. We review and answer business-related emails all throughout the day.

We take our mobile devices with us on vacation, staying “connected” throughout the whole time. This is NOT the way to relax and rejuvenate. We should set boundaries for ourselves and those we lead to assure that our life does not become so unbalanced that we lose effectiveness and creativity. Without boundaries, we compromise our relationships with our family and friends.

At Business Consulting of NH, we have expertise in coaching and training business leaders and employees in each of these areas, and we would love to contribute to your happiness in the workplace. Contact us online today, or give us a call at 603-763-9770.

The Benefits of Mentoring in a Work Environment

Mentoring is one person taking another by the hand and guiding them.

The mentor has experience, knowledge, and wisdom, and cares deeply about the mentee’s personal growth.

Mentoring happens in all walks of life, including in families, sports, education, and careers. In a business environment, mentoring ideally starts on the first day of a person’s employment. Usually, the mentor is someone other than the supervisor.

A mentor’s role usually includes the following:

  • Helping you, the mentee, understand and become familiar with the company culture, vision and mission.
  • Helping you understand the various people you will be interacting with
  • Answering any questions that that you have along the way
  • Familiarizing you with company policies
  • Helping you out when you are “stuck”
  • Listening to you openly and fully
  • Challenging you to think outside the box and come up with answers to problems
  • Helping you with attitude changes, if necessary
  • Building up your confidence
  • Helping you increase your performance and overcome hurdles

Mentors should meet with mentees on a regular basis.

Ideally, they should both meet once per week for at least an hour. Meeting over coffee or a meal can help to deepen the relationship. It also helps if management checks in with the mentors from time to time to gauge the results of the mentorship program and support a mentor who might face challenges with their mentee.

At BCNH. we support our clients by helping to set up a mentoring program that works for them. We help to coach current and future mentors in their important roles, guiding them into achieving the greatest amount of success. To learn more about our valuable mentor coaching services, contact us online or give us a call at 603 763-9770.

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