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Effective Leadership Skills: Emotional Discipline at Work

Being an effective leader is becoming more challenging and demanding in these times. Relying upon your title and position alone is no longer enough to get your teams to do their jobs well. Employees want more.

Leading with emotion?

They demand to be treated as individual people in an intelligent, caring and thoughtful environment. In reality, people have always wanted this, but now they are getting it. More managers are learning and practicing good leadership skills. One skill is Emotional Intelligence (EQ), practiced with Emotional Discipline.

Emotional intelligence in the workplace

Essentially, EQ  is the ability of individuals to recognize the emotions of both themselves and other people.

EQ means evaluating and labeling different feelings appropriately, and using emotional information to guide your thinking and behavior. Basically, it’s our “people skills.”

Emotional Intelligence includes:

  • Self-awareness
  • Self-regulation
  • Motivation
  • Empathy
  • Social skills

At Business Consulting of NH we use assessments that measure our level of development in each of the EQ skills. Studies have indicated that emotional intelligence is a higher indicator of success, in many areas, than a person’s IQ.

Emotional Discipline in the workplace

Emotional Discipline is thoughtfully utilizing the information we obtain from our Emotional Intelligence in a productive way to achieve the best possible outcomes. Emotional discipline involves not reacting on the first impulses of our emotions. We respond after due consideration, and never in anger, even if we might feel justified in doing so.

When the rules of emotional discipline aren’t followed, there are consequences for the leader, the team and the organization. The team might lose respect or trust in the leader. A lack of emotional discipline may lead to poor results because a leader took the easy route, rather than calling out unproductive behaviors.

Maybe high standards of quality and service aren’t always kept because it’s easier to overlook poor performance than it is to inspire excellence every day.

How does a leader practice Emotional Discipline?

Here are some discussions an Emotionally Intelligent & Emotionally Disciplined leader might have with their fellow leaders and their teams:

Which areas are our strong points? In which areas of our work do we feel we are exhibiting strong aspects of emotional discipline?

When are we at our best? Do we hit deadlines regardless of the pain we might feel or obstacles we are facing within ourselves or others?

Where do we need some work? In which areas of our work do we need a higher level of emotional discipline? Where do team members need help in being more disciplined?

What do we need to learn? Do we need to hold meaningful conversations to move ourselves and the team forward rather than keeping a distance because it’s more comfortable and familiar?

How do we make choices? Are we making decisions based on our emotional intelligence and discipline at all times, or are we overlooking certain “convenient exceptions”?

How confident are we? Are we exhibiting the courage and discipline to openly speak the truth and call out the “exceptions?”

Who can we benefit? Who can we help motivate and keep on track? Is it hard for staff to get fired up in the morning and do the toughest tasks they need to get done?

A workplace that is infused with the continuous practice of emotional discipline is a workplace that will generate and perpetuate feelings of satisfaction and pride for both the employee and the leader.

Contact Coach Hardy online to learn more about leadership improvement. We provide consultation and training for business leaders who are eager to grow and thrive. Call us today at 603-763-9770.

You Can’t Just Measure Accountability

Today, I would like to shed light on one of my many important roles as a business and personal coach. This is the role of being an accountability partner.

The following is an example of an actual case of mine:

I had a client who had difficulty keeping his commitments. This issue affected not only work and social commitments involving other people, but primarily it affected his personal commitments to himself. One of his personal commitments involved adhering to a consistent exercise routine in his method of choice.

I began asking him specific questions concerning this practice, in order that he might set realistic goals. I asked him how often he wanted to exercise, for how long, and which activity he preferred. Eventually, he narrowed down his commitment to a concentrated 30 minutes of walking, hiking, biking, or other such cardio exercises—every day.

Once we had established this desire, I asked the client when he would like to begin. I recommended that he begin immediately–so as not to get discouraged through procrastination–and I asked that he send me a daily e-mail for the next two weeks, confirming that he had completed the exercise.

He was greatly encouraged by this idea, and he took my counsel. For the next two weeks, I received daily confirmation e-mails from this client. I responded to each one with a personal acknowledgement and a few “attaboys!” thrown in.

My client became very energized and committed because of this accountability method, and he has continued to e-mail me his exercise success stories every day since that meeting.

As a personal and business coach, I am always encouraged and pleased with success stories like these. If you know someone who is serious about changing their life, needs some guidance, or maybe just needs an accountability partner, send them my way. Thank you.

Hardy Hasenfuss,  Personal and Business Coach

Keep the Creative Urge Alive

During the winter holiday season, I often speak on the subjects of Joy and Happiness. Both are similar concepts, and are very important ingredients in a bright and productive life.

For now, I’d like to talk about joy. Although this past years’ joyous Christmas season has come and gone, you should not give up on finding joy in your daily life!

The greatest joy and satisfaction in my work as a coach is to support my clients. It brings me happiness to help them as they pursue their creative urge. I find satisfaction in my life when I see them striving and succeeding in building better lives for themselves, for their families, and for their careers and businesses.

The creative urge I speak of is an in-born desire to create a better life within the sphere of our passions and interests. Although I believe this urge is within each one of us, it is unfortunate that so many of us suppress our creative urges because of petty fears and a self-defeating lack of courage. This is where my support as a personal coach comes into play. It is my job to professionally encourage and challenge my clients to succeed.

Maybe you or someone you know needs to find this joy. If you have a friend, associate, or client who wants to be encouraged and challenged as they pursue the creative urge in their life or business, please give them my card. I am always here to serve you.

Hardy Hasenfuss, Your Joy and Happiness Coach

Planes, Trains, and Telephones

A business associate and I had a terrific 121 meeting earlier this week. Where was it, you might ask? In my office, over the phone. And It worked very well.

During our conversation, we both resolved to do more 121’s over the phone, and we want to encourage our BNI partners to do likewise!

Here are some reasons why phone meetings might be better for you:

1. They save travel time and expenses. From my location, a round-trip to Concord is about 1 ½ hours. I’m certain that many of you have long-distance commutes as well.

2. It is easier to carve out one concentrated hour from our busy schedules than it is to find time for a cumulative 2 ½ hour meeting.

3. In most cases, and particularly with 121’s, phone meetings are much easier to schedule and conduct.

4. Phone meetings are far more efficient. If you conduct them properly, there are fewer interruptions and distractions.

As far as my coaching method is concerned, I have performed over-the-phone coaching services (in addition to personal meetings) for over 20 years, and I have found them very much to my liking.

If you have yet to try this method in your professional circles, I encourage you to give it a shot! Who knows, it might just free up your time to do more 121’s.

Hardy Hasenfuss,  Personal and Business Success Coach

A Guide to Understanding Your New Year’s Resolutions

Some estimates say more than 40% of Americans make New Year’s resolutions. Only 8% Achieve them.

What are the secrets behind those who succeed? Here are a few words to get the gears turning: Simple. Tangible. Obvious.

Keep it Simple
Resolutions should not be over-complicated. They should be definite, not reliant on tentative external circumstances. In this instance, it is helpful to think in black-and-white.

Make it Tangible
Setting ambitious resolutions can be fun and inspiring. Goals should be bounded by rational, achievable metrics.

A resolution to lose some weight is not that easy to follow.

We say if you can’t measure it, it’s not a very good resolution because vague goals beget vague resolutions.

Make it Obvious
Experts recommend charting your goals in some fashion. There’s no universal strategy for success, so decide on a method of organization that works for you. For some, making a clear to-do list is enough of a reminder; others rely on “vision boards” or personal diaries.

-An emerging tactic: share your goals with your friends and family. It’s a great way to build accountability.

If you have already started making resolutions for the New Year - STOP. Better yet, if you haven’t begun, don’t start – yet. Let’s think about it first.  You need a strategy if you don’t want to be among the 92% who fail in achieving their goals.

Let me suggest a 9-point strategy that will optimize your chance of success:
1. Make a quick list of possible resolutions. Don’t do anything with them yet.
2. Get clear about the crucial differences between a vision, a goal and manifestation.
3. Decide which of those on your list fit which of the above.
4. Prioritize your list and then focus on one item. Create a vision and one or two goals.
5. Decide if you need to manifest something to support your vision.
6. Build in the possibility of short-term, incremental success to keep you motivated.
7. Spread the work involved in achieving them over time.
8. Use all three aspects of your psyche – mental, emotional and spiritual intelligence.
9. Use worksheets appropriate to your intentions.

Vision, Goals, and Manifestation

When I ask most people to explain their vision, they invariably give me a goal. Most corporate vision statements are goals. So what is the difference?

A goal is future-oriented and set in time. It is measurable, highly specific and objective. It is Yang (masculine) energy. It’s about making things happen, controlling the outcome and being active.  A goal should be achievable, realistic and structured so you know when and if it is achieved or not. If not achieved, you need to love yourself for failing and then set another goal.

A vision is neither time-specific nor measurable. It exists now within you and you will have it as your guide forever, or at least for as long as you remain passionate about it and supports your purpose. It is what gives you your inspiration and the juice to go on to set the goals that will support your vision. Your vision is your source of fulfillment. It is Yin (feminine) spiritual energy so it is receptive and naturally attracts whatever supports your vision. It is bigger than you, gives meaning to your life and draws you to it. It requires you to open to receive what the Universe wants to give you, which is support for your vision.

Manifestation is neither a vision nor a goal. You can only manifest what is capable of being made manifest (real). In other words you can only manifest what is concrete, tangible and what you will recognize ‘out there’ when it shows up in your world.

-When people fill in the Radical Manifestation worksheet, it amazes me how many people still put something in the box to manifest that is really a goal.

Manifestation occurs as a result of activating the Law of Attraction, and this is best done by using a Radical Manifestation worksheet.  The worksheet, rather than trying to change your subconscious mind, uses your Spiritual Intelligence instead. But for this, the worksheet is essential.  You can download a Radical Manifestation worksheet from Colin’s Cafe. Registration is required by clicking here.

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